LOT 'S WIFE:> > The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked> back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted,> "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced> triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!" > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
GOOD SAMARITAN:> > A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the> Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She> described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the> drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the > roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" > > A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd> throw up." > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
DID NOAH FISH? > > A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a> lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" > "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms." > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
HIGHER POWER: > > A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been> learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there> is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"> One child blurted out, "Aces!"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
MOSES & THE RED SEA: > > Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned> in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses> behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of> Egypt. > When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon> bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed> headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge> and all the > Israelites were saved." > > "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his> mother asked. > > "Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd> never believe it!"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD: > > A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize> one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the> youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the> task, but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practise, he> could barely get past the first line. > > On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in> front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn,> he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my> Shepherd, and that's all I need to know." > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> UNANSWERED PRAYER?> > The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father> always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his> sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that> his daughter was so observant of his messages, > "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." > "How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
BEING THANKFUL > > A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother> says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she> say?" > The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!" > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER > > During the minister's prayer, one Sunday, there was a loud> whistle from one of the back pews. > Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and,> after church, asked, "Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?"> Gary answered, soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle, And> He just then did!"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >
TIME TO PRAY> A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.> "Yes sir," the boy replied. > "And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor> asked. > "No sir," the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime."> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
BEWARE OF TRASH > One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our 'trash> baskets' as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> > > >
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS? > When my daughter, Kelli, was 3, she and my son,> Cody, would say their nightly prayers, together.> As most children do, we have to bless every> family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).> For several weeks, after we had finished the> nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."> As this soon became part of her nightly routine,> to include this at the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked> her, > "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all> girls?" > Her response, "Because we always finish our> prayers by saying 'All Men'!"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
SAY A PRAYER > Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday> dinner at his Grandmother's house.> Everyone was seated around the table as the food> was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started> eating right away. > "Johnny wait until we say our prayer." > "I don't have to," The boy replied.> "Of course, you do," his mother insisted.> "We say a prayer, before eating, at our house." > "That's our house," Johnny explained. > "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how> to cook!>
Kids really do have a sense of humour!
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