September 9th 2nd Expansion

280 cc on my 2nd expansion. These are my new breasts! B cups.

Wow, what an emotional day. I had my second expansion today. Not once did I have any pain. I had some apprehension about the needle going into the same spot, but it did not hurt at all. I suspect the muscles are getting tougher. Today, I had 120cc instead of 100. Next week I should have 120cc if all goes well. This will give me the 400cc at next weeks appointment.

On to the emotional part. I was having my right side filled when the nurse asked my daughter if she could see the difference. At that time, I raised my head and looked down. What I saw was absolutely amazing. There before my eyes was a breast! A beautiful mound of flesh that just some four weeks ago was a flat angry scar. I could not hold back the tears. I was crying before I realized it. My daughter was crying and the nurse was tearing up. She said they called this point the "silver lining." I think these are the days that make their jobs so worth the hard work, just as this day made every minute of pain worth it. Before I signed on, I looked once more in the bathroom mirror.......I have beautiful size B's and actual cleavage! The tears are ever present! I can't help it.

I didn't realize those four years what not having breasts was doing not only to my self image but to the overall mental being. I was telling myself that I was fine with the forms and ugly bras. It had gotten to where I barely wore them. They were hot in the summer, sticky in the winter, always ill-fitting. I had myself fooled that the scars were ok. I just didn't look, but there are times when you can't help but look. And grandkids look. Sad, but it took a child's mind to open mine to the fact I was hurting.

Today, I don't cry for what was lost. I cry for joy. The tears flow for these two breasts forming on my once flat scarred chest.

First expansion

Well, today I had my first expansion! It was nothing like I had read or feared. I'm 3 weeks post-op. It felt like a but of pressure and a small sting. They used a small magnet to locate the port, which come to find out, was the little bruised feeling spot I had come to feel. They used an 18 gauge butterfly needle and injected 100cc. The Dr. had injected 60cc. during surgery, so I am now 160cc. My expander is 400cc. which will put me at a good B+, C cup when done. That will depend on the implant surgery and my body. I am excited about the appearance already. There are mounds where there was once angry, jagged scars! Those first weeks after surgery are paying off now. I continue to wear the athletic bras 24 hrs a day to help mold the skin and create a ledge under the breast mounds. I am so glad I did this!!

August 31st Post surgery

3 weeks post-op

Well, I didn't make it on after surgery as I had planned. To be honest, the first week was horrible. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it did not hurt. When I woke up, I thought my arms had been electrocuted, and my chest felt as if it were crawling with stinging bees. By that night, my arms had calmed down and my chest started with muscle spasms. I was in and out all day and night, so the pain medicine worked. I only remember watching the clock and asking my daughter how much longer till I could have more pain medicine. I must add, he had to do a good bit of work on the left side. If you go back and look at pictures, it was caved in. Dr. Beckenstein had to reconstruct that side in order to have enough tissue to place the expanders under. (He did a remarkable job!)



Anyone can do this, if I did. By the next morning, I was up and walking. Pain medicine was my best friend, but the pain was controlled. He gave me strict instructions to go home and do nothing. I wanted to laugh at him. I was doing good to breath, what did he think I was going to do? You need someone to be with you that first week. All you're going to feel like doing is sleeping (on your back), sitting up to watch tv, and walking around some.



The next Tuesday, August 24th, I returned to the office to have my drains removed. The hardest part of this was having the stitches cut on one side. Seriously, the stitches had become embedded and so I got a little "nicked" as they were being cut. From there, you count to three, hold your breath, and feel the tubes sliding out of your holes. They are long, so take a big breath. Remember to breathe when they are done. It will sting like crazy for just a second once they are out however; once out, it is like a breath of fresh air. Those tubes are so bothersome.



I am now in my third week and as the picture shows, healing has taken place. Notice how smooth my chest is now and the expanders! It is neat. I can feel them, and I still have a few muscle spasms, but I have not had a pain pill since my fifth day home except for the day I had my drains removed. I took one before I left home. I will do so for my first injection on Thursday. The spasms are mostly on the left side and come at night when I have done too much.



If you are reading this and considering reconstruction, do not let my experience of that one day and night scare you. I have a low tolerance to pain, and any surgery you have is going to hurt. Just keep in mind what your goal is. It will all be worth it in the end!

Day Before Surgery

August 16th, 2010 dawned bright and beautiful and my stomach was full of butterflies. I had all day to clean, wash my sheets, and prepare for surgery tomorrow. At 245, I left to go to the doctor for my marking. I got my prescriptions filled so I could come home from the hospital and go straight to bed. Dr. Beckenstein has thought of everything. His office staff has made sure I knew exactly where to go, and made every office visit fun. They are so nice and fun-loving. I have enjoyed this new journey and look forward to my future visits with them as I get expanded. I will give an update when I am able to log on after surgery.

2nd Consultation

Right and Left side 45 degree angle

Well, I have had my 2nd visit and am now prepared to go on the 16th to be "marked." At this visit, the doctor will mark my chest where he plans to cut and place the inserts. He will measure my chest and get all of his markings level. This is much easier standing at a natural pose than on a table in surgery.

He answered all of my questions. I am in for a lengthy recovery, but in the end it will be so worth it. That is what I have to keep reminding myself. I have to keep my eye on the end product. Not what is going on in between. If I can keep that in mind, I should be fine. I have included pictures of my chest as it looks now and a front view of his marking it today.