Joel July 20th

Well, it's been a week since we've been home. He has lost 12 pounds. He hardly eats, can't control the pain, can't rest, ARGH. Things are not going well and I'm worried as anyone would be. I called Traci this morning at our Dr.'s office. Home Health is going to come in. I'm so thankful. He needs to have someone look over his skin to make sure it isn't breaking down. I have some questionable areas. He can't walk without the walker, and with that it is so painful he can barely make it across the hall to the bathroom. I took down the bed in the 2nd guest bedroom and put his recliner in there so he would be close to his bathroom. He doesn't look good to me. I'm hoping they can do something for the pain so he will eat and get stronger. I can't wait until they get here. It's like a huge boulder off my shoulders just to know they are coming. I don't know how much I have cried, just seeing and hearing him in pain. It doesn't break the heart....it rips it apart. I am one person....... how did I think I was going to do this by myself?