Oh what a night

Emotions trying to break through the surface...... like a pressure cooker? Not so much anger, as pressure; lack of control with all things going on around. Medications are failing, where they were once a fortress of strength. No one to depend on because everyone depends on you. Carrying a cardboard box waiting for the other shoe to drop. Weeks ago, sleep was abundant, dreams untold. Muddling through, grasping for straws to pull through each day. Tonight sleep clouding from within, the mind won't cut off. Running around doing things, tedious things that mean nothing. Sleep comes, and three hours later, awake. Off again, a rat in a maze. A buzz in the ear that is almost tactile. What more can be taken. Too much dependence for life. A need to slow down, feel control, gather self, bring it all around. Slice.